When a Mom’s Worry Collides with Heaven’s Perspective


God is taking me to a whole new level of faith, one that overcomes worry and anxiety. This is something that I have needed an answer to for some time. I just prayed yesterday that through the Spirit of God, God would give me wisdom and specifically revelation so that I could know Him better. I prayed for my heart to be enlightened. I prayed for the same power with the same mighty strength that raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him at the right hand in the heavenly realms would be in my experience for today, tomorrow and forever. (Ephesians 1:17-20). And this morning, God gave me His perspective.

I’m reading a great book called by “Fire and Fragrance” Sean Feucht and Andy Byrd. Both share their testimonies about different things in their life. The one that stood out to me was the part that Andy shared. He shares that one day he was feeling a bit overwhelmed by some difficult situation in his life. He was pressing in for a breakthrough and it had not yet come. He shares that he began to ask the Lord about this breakthrough and he expressed his concern that it may never come. Then he sensed the Lord ask him a question, “Andy, do you think the angels are ever insecure about the outcomes?” Taken aback by this question, Andy pondered the ridiculousness of his own fear and insecurity of God’s ability to release His kingdom on His earth. Then the final question God impressed upon him which became the one that impressed upon me the most was, “Do you think the angels are ever insecure in My leadership?” Wow! I so needed to hear that question!

You see, I am a mom. I have loved being a mom from the beginning of motherhood. Being a mom was my one and only desire. Some wanted careers, investments, material possessions, and such. But I just wanted to be a mom. And God blessed me with four wonderful children. But God did not just bless me, He gave me a mission when my oldest, Matthew, was almost three years old. It was one of those special days I had with the Lord. He called me to raise all of my children to be warriors for His Kingdom. And His Kingdom was to be revealed here on earth using each child in some way. But it would take effort on my part. It would take sacrifice. It would take faith. This assignment seemed like an impossible task for me. I was a young believer, didn’t know the word like I do today, and was very uncertain in my ability to raise my children for the Lord with intention and sacrifice. But I trusted the Lord. I believed Him when He impressed upon me that He would walk with me, teach me, guide me and help me every step of the way. It wasn’t easy to do, but I believed the promise Jesus gave His disciples at the time of the great commissioning, “…Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

But again, I am a mom. And while I did take that calling to raise my children as warriors in His Kingdom seriously; and they all love the Lord! I praise Him for His faithfulness! I still worry. I worry about the suffering they may experience. I worry about the sacrifices they will make. I know that following Jesus is not always easy. On the other hand, I also know that His power is great, but sometimes I forget about His power and focus too much on the suffering and sacrifices that each of my children may (or will) go through.

I lose perspective in these times of worry.

I lose Heaven’s perspective. I begin to doubt God’s ability, His leadership and then I mistakenly pick up the baton and exercise my ability and my leadership. Then the worry and anxiety comes in waves (actually tsunamis’!).

I am reminded this morning from the word of God and Andy Byrd’s testimony that God’s glory does fill the earth. His power is in our reach. But often what keeps me from seeing His glory and His power so clearly is the veil of unbelief that I choose to wear. Byrd says, “Insecurity does not exist in the perspective of Heaven.” I am learning that I need to live with the continual confidence of heaven. It’s easy to look at our earth and see the suffering, trafficking, the ISIS beheadings, the rise of sexual immorality, the stripping away of our freedoms and lose that heavenly perspective. However, once we lose that perspective, the temptations to not follow through on God’s calling is at the helm. Fear drives us instead of faith moving us.

My son, Matthew, is going away for six months. He leaves this September. He’s going to Maui for training. He will be trained in the knowledge of God and missions to the people of Southeast, Asia. He will conclude his training with three months spent on mission in Asia. I know that He will learn so much, grow so much, and experience God in a way that will radically change him forever. But I also know that God will allow difficulties and challenges that will be hard. I know that God does allow us to struggle at times in our life. He does this so that we trust in Him for his glory and revelation to be revealed to us and through us. So naturally this will come about in Matt’s life.

As a mom, we never want our kids to suffer. But as a mom of God on a mission for Jesus, we must let our children go forth. For if we do not, they will never be the change maker or light in the dark that God has called them to be. We become the stumbling block instead of their stepping stone. This is not what I agreed to way back when Matt was almost three. I agreed to raise my children to be warriors for Him! I said to the Lord, “Here I am, send me. Whatever the cost, I will follow You.” Over twenty years ago, I made that commitment and I still hold true to it today; But now at this moment in time God has done something amazing for me. He has released my worry and my anxiety, because I am adopting a new perspective.

I have chosen to see what Isaiah saw, “I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings, with two he covered with his face, with two he covered with his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said, ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His Glory’” (Isaiah 6:1-3).

I see Matt’s calling through the eyes of God’s holiness, His power, His ability, His sovereign leadership, and His intentional plan. I also see His gentle care, His hands open wide to hold Matt and carry him every step of the way. The same promise God gave me, He is giving to Matt, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

What is your perspective when you worry? How is it holding you back from being all that God wants you to be? Is it interfering with what God’s plans are for your children? I’d love to hear your feedback.

 

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