“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…”
Whiplash parenting usually is counterproductive to the result parents are looking for. This kind of parenting typically tries to shape good behavior and right decisions in children by striking down the character and confidence of the child; but when a child is beat up, torn down and demeaned they usually respond in rebellion, more disobedience and distance from the parent. This kind of upbringing lessons a parent’s influence. However, when parents choose to encourage their children toward good behavior, they soon realize that positive words and affirmations produce positive outcomes.
Yes, accountability is a necessity, but it can be accomplished better with three types of actions:
- Note the bad behavior last. Intentionally look for and point out the good you see in your child first; if you do, you’ll find they are more ready to listen to what needs to be corrected. It’s so much easier to please a hopeful parent vs. a pessimistic one.
- Praise good decisions every chance you get. This breeds a desire in your child to continue down a constructive and righteous path of living. All people strive for praise; it gives us the courage to carry on.
- Communicate love and acceptance often. Separate all behavior and decisions apart from the love and acceptance you have for your child. You never want your child to feel they must earn your love and acceptance by what they do or don’t do. God is love and His love is never-ending regardless of our actions. After all, God’s love for us is not based on our actions, but instead upon His grace.
Good behavior and right decisions are good things we teach our children; but the lasting lesson in these is faith, love and hope. For all our work and our labor should be produced by faith and prompted by love. And endurance to press on is only possible if hope inspires it. This is a note to the work and labor of parenting as much as it is for our children’s behavior and decisions.